Engage Her: Activating Women and MultiCultural Communities

Last week First Lady Michelle Obama was in Philadelphia to talk about the Let’s Move campaign which is focused on ending the epidemic of childhood obesity in our country in a generation. She was in Philadelphia because that is the city and communities that came together six years ago to take a collaborative stand to fight obesity and provide the roadmap for the rest of our nation. They decided that they needed to bring fresh, health affordable foods to all their communities. To take a collected approach to solve the deep problems and issues that lead to obesity in our communities.

In addition, the government just announced the Healthy Food Financing Initiative. It is a multi-million dollar public and private investment to eliminate food deserts in America within seven years. Food deserts are those areas in our communities throughout the country that lack access to fresh, affordable food and distribution points. It is so powerful to see our government not only talk about the need to fight obesity, but put funding and investment dollars to ensure that we bring real solutions that our citizens across the country in the communities that need it the most. We’ll bringing you more details about this program as it unfolds across the country and into our communities. Kudos to the President and the First Lady for this amazing and profound work.

In my role as a group facilitator and mediator who pays close attention to diversity matters, I have often found that people disagree with or become offended by something that has not been either said or meant.  That is, even before they know what the other person is saying or intending to say, they interpret it in some fashion and have a negative reaction to it.

Of course, just like in the case of religion, politics or other topics that are rooted in deep values, talking about diversity matters frequently winds up being a very sensitive endeavor.  Engrained in past experiences of exclusion or sometimes outright racism or sexism, it makes plenty of sense that people recurrently become very emotional.  However, in and of itself, that is not the problem.  What complicates dialogues about diversity matters is a common tendency of loading our own negative interpretations to what others are saying, meaning or even doing—and not knowing the difference!

For instance, someone describing a scene about interacting with people of a different gender, culture or any other diversity aspect.  While they are describing what their experience was, and before they made any value judgment about it, they are often blamed for being “racist”, “sexist” or otherwise intolerant.   Of course, the result is a shut down in communication and any real interaction across cultures, of any type, is missed.  Everyone is to lose in such scenarios.  

In a recent trip to South America, I heard Chileans describing North Americans as being “less emotionally expressive than South Americans”.  That, in and of itself is a fair enough description of differences.  A judgment, however, would have been if “being less emotionally expressive” was somehow interpreted as “not caring or caring less about what was happening” at this fairly emotionally charged event.  The first one was a description, the second would have been an interpretation.

Food for thought:  A trick that I have found helpful to me and my clients is the old virtue of curiosity and its ancient wisdom.  It goes like this:  “when confronted with something that triggers a reaction in you, hold on to your interpretation (as it is rich in information about you) and become genuinely curious!”  Just like for me and for my clients, it is my hope that by finding out more about what the other person is saying that you will not only gain insight as to what their perspective is, but that you may further learn about your own point of view.  Remember to distinguish what is being described from what you are making of it.  Both are valid, just refrain from mixing them up.  And, yes, becoming offended is often a personal choice.