Engage Her: Activating Women and MultiCultural Communities

Listening and Speaking in a Second Language—what is it like? (Part II)

In the past blog, I described what it is to be listening in a second language. I also explained how critical it is for those who are talking to a second-language listener to understand and be sensitive to their experience (the second language speaker, that is) if effective communication is to happen. Again, those of us who speak two or more languages tend to be equipped with the experience that allows us to be sensitive to those matters. However, not everyone develops such sensitivity and being bilingual is certainly not a requirement to developing it.

Today, I’d like to describe what it is like to be speaking in a language other than one’s mother tongue. We often come across situations in which we don’t quite know the exact terms or idiomatic expressions that would best suit what we are trying to convey. When that happens, there are essentially two options: either to say nothing or to attempt creative routes to convey what we are thinking or feeling. The second option entails describing what we mean using, perhaps, more rudimentary language. For instance, suppose I am trying to say ‘thermometer’ and do not know the term, I may say: “the instrument used to measure how cold or hot something is.” When concepts become more abstract or complicated, you can readily imagine just how gradually more challenging the endeavor becomes.

Two attitudes are critical for the second-language speaker. First is the confidence to go ahead and speak up regardless of how ‘clumsy’ we may sound. Second is the ability to confront the common disregard from those at the listening end who may react as if we were less intelligent, did not know what we are talking about, or come up with all sorts of other colorful assumptions about us. These types of disregard are palpable, and they can range from being quite subtle to being fairly grotesque. Perhaps the most common dynamic I have seen in my professional practice is when the second-language speaker is completely ignored, and those at the listening end act as if he or she was not even present. The second most common dynamic is being subtly questioned or not-so-subtly ridiculed for not using the proper terms.

One tactic I have found to be helpful is the use humor, as it helps to lessen the unnecessary judgment that transpires in such scenarios. Let me give you a very simple example. Many years ago, I stated that something was “ringing music to my ears!” Everyone laughed, as they should have, yet in a ridiculing tone that was both unnecessary and an unmistakable put down. Fortunately, a colleague picked up the vibe and, with a twinkle in her eye, stated something along the lines of: “hey, if it is music, it sure would ring to anyone, right?” That is when I realized I had wrongfully used the idiomatic expression. Fortunately, in this case, I was able to tell what the gaff was and jokingly replied: “hey, either ringing or bringing, it is still music to my ears! So, please, tell me more about …” This interaction completely shifted the conversation into one that was more respectful of me, and, thus, more productive for all involved.  Again, you can imagine that the scenarios are not always as simple, or easy to address.

Another very recurrent dynamic I have encountered is monolingual English-speaking people possessing an attitude about certain second-language speakers requesting an interpreter when talking in public. “But, if he or she speaks English, why use an interpreter?!” is the common observation. Even though this may be accurate in some basic or moderate level, what it is not understood is the loss of power someone experiences when speaking in public in his or her second language. At worst, the speaker may be completely ignored or only partially heard, and, at best, barely understood. No wonder, some second-language speakers simply choose to say nothing at all!

Food for thought: Regardless of whether you are monolingual, bilingual, or have the privilege of being multilingual, observe yourself while listening to someone speaking in another language other than their mother tongue. How close do you listen to them? Does it vary in any way? What gets in the way of asking for clarification when you do not completely understood the other’s point of view?

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Listening and Speaking in a Second Language—what is it like?

In 1987, working as a receptionist at an International Conference Center in New York, I had the following experience:  A loud, large, and fast-speaking woman asked me a long and convoluted question.  Since I did not understand her, I asked her to repeat it.  She went ahead and repeated the question in the same pace and with identical terms.  Thus, I requested another iteration of her question, to which she replies in an angry tone: “Am I speaking in another language?!” Fortunately, a colleague from South Africa standing right beside me and of a similar size, replied to her: “No, it is she who is speaking in a second language, what can I do for you, ma’am?”

From then on, I have witnessed multiple situations in which people simply did not understand what it is to be listening and speaking in a second language.  Of course, not speaking a second language leaves anyone in a vacuum of experience to use as reference. That is understandable. However, I have also witnessed many people who are monolingual, and yet have managed to develop the required understanding and sensitivity.  Thus, being bilingual is not a prerequisite for cultural competence, as just a notch-up in awareness can make a huge difference in ensuring good communication.

Of course, with experience, I have learned that in similar situations it does help to answer something along the lines of:  “Sorry, could you repeat that in a slower pace for me, please?” Sometimes, I may have added:  “ I am listening in my second language.” Additionally, I learned that being soft spoken does not always work with loud individuals— especially, as I am petite!  Thus, raising up a notch of my voice and expanding my chest a wee bit can do wonders!  I cannot say it has always worked, but I bet I have increased my chances of being heard. Sure enough, humans are fascinating animals, are not we?

In attempting to find a way to explain what the experience is for second-language listeners, I have found the following analogy to be useful.  Imagine yourself listening to the radio.  When the reception is right, you can hear the person speaking or singing quite clearly, right?  However, if there is static, or there are portions of the speech cut off, you will not hear well, or make sense of the entire message. Well, for a second-language listener, the reception is clear while the terms are familiar to us.  When language is unknown, there are moments of static or outright silence in the midst of the cacophony of understood language.  It requires a high tolerance to ambiguity and an ability to make sense of the whole message from the context as understanding every single word is often an impossible mission.

The recurrence of the static or silences varies depending on the level of language proficiency of the listener, their specific knowledge of the topic at hand, and many nuances of the entire context. Even being fully proficient in English since I learned the language from childhood, have lived in the USA for almost 20 years, and hold a doctoral degree obtained at a competitive school in California- there are still moments in which there is static or outright silence when I listen in my second language.  That is absolutely normal.  What I have learned, however, is to say… “please, slow down…” or “what does X or Y mean?” when I encounter those situations. However, not all second-language speakers feel entitled to ask such questions, or have the interpersonal skills to do so.  That is where the attitude and skills of the person on the other side of the interaction truly comes in handy to achieve good communication.

Food for thought:

Imagine what it would be like for you if you were in a similar situation to the second-language listener.  What would it feel like?  What would it be like if the experience would be fairly common?  How would you cope with it?  What if you were in a group in with you had very little rank?

On my last two blogs, I have addressed a fairly common interpersonal dynamic that occurs when people from different backgrounds interact.  In socio-linguistic terms, it is referred to as “code switching”. It is about how certain women and certain people of color tend to adapt their way of interacting in order to be better heard, if lucky, understood or, even better, accepted by mainstream society.

There is no question that everyone, regardless of gender, socio-economic background, ethnicity or age, tends to talk differently depending on who is before them.  If we are interacting with a young child, regardless of their background, we may all use a different tone of voice or choice of words than if talking with an adult.  If we come from a cultural background that distinguishes gender roles quite clearly, we may even further adapt our topics of conversation to match the fact that we are relating to a boy or a girl.  If we come from a counter-culture that advocates for gender equity, we may intentionally not choose to make such adaptation.  An African American successful business entrepreneur coming from humble beginnings will certainly not talk to her family and childhood friends the same way she would relate business partners on Wall Street.  However, that is not the code-switching we are referring to in intercultural dynamics. There are critical differences when we pay attention to who needs to adapt to whom, who is simply oblivious to this dynamic, and how the adaptation is learned.

Changing the way we speak when talking to a child, our neighbor, or a complete stranger is a sign of how socially adept we may be.  In normal circumstances, we learned such skills at an early age from our social surroundings.  And, even if we are not completely proficient at it, the social consequences of not using the right terms or tone are not usually drastic, nor as mind boggling.  However, it is quite a different story when those who are recurrently seen and treated as having ‘lesser social rank’ adapt the way they interact with the hopes to “fit in” mainstream society. First of all, the adaptation is only one-way.  Second, most people coming from ‘higher social rank’ are completely oblivious to the fact that others adapt to their ways in order to be heard, and if lucky, understood.  Third, since all of these dynamics are rarely talked about all the learning is done by a hit or miss process, and no explicit feedback.  Can you imagine how confusing it is for those learning?

To put it more bluntly, how does a young adult immigrant from Asia or Latin America learn to interact with his or her middle class peers in the USA?  What are their chances of their choice of words, or tone, or body language being seriously mis-interpreted, and thus judged, by their local counter-parts?  If the interaction is fairly informal and on a friendly basis, it explains why social integration has such a long way to go, at least, in the USA.  However, if we take a look at this dynamic in the workplace, then… we have a lot of insight why discrimination in employment is so prevalent, even in the Twenty First Century!

Food for Thought: Have you ever been in a situation in which you are, by-far, the minority in a group or society?  Was your ‘minority status’ one that placed you in a higher or lower rank?  If you were perceived and treated as one of lesser rank— did you learn to interact in a fashion that would make you more heard in the group? How did you learn how to do that?

I would certainly be extremely interested in learning about others experiences in this very complex and rich field.

A student who goes to Tennyson High School in Hayward, California was recently told that they’re going to close down their high school. Where will the students go? They’re closing down so many schools and then they complain about how they can’t fit most kids in the right classes. The kids aren’t getting the right education. They’re getting packed in classes, and lack the attention they need from their teachers. And if they close down Tennyson High, it’s not going to get any better.

If I was forced to move to a different school, I would be mad. I wouldn’t get the education I need, and that affects me. Not the school board. It’s not just one person, it’s many. As the saying goes “we look to the next generation, because they are our future.” That’s hard to believe because they’re taking the resources we need to become “the future.” It seems like all they talk about is the schools and budget cuts. I understand the schools must cut down on the money they’re spending, and it’s hard. There’s no easy way to cut and still provide ALL the essential things kids need. But at least you still have the power to prevent cramming, provide learning skills that work, and stop laying off so many teachers.
 
Another problem is the no summer school policy. How can kids make up or have a chance to pass the class they failed in? And even if they offer classes at Chabot College in the summer, what if their family is cutting back or doesn’t have the money to pay for it? That student doesn’t have the option to get it right the second time. Yeah, they can take a given class during the school year, but they might not take all the classes they need to earn enough credits to graduate. That’s a huge issue. How about setting up a system similar to summer school but pay the teachers less and have volunteers to help? There are steps that could improve this situation we’re in now.
 
But until then, sincerely
Tina Gerardo

The Engage Her Multicultural Middle School Girls Leadership Conference was an extraordinary success! The way I had envisioned the conference was nothing like the actual experience. I can recall standing in the courtyard during Saturday morning’s registration, captivated by the diversity of young girls. It was a very surreal moment for me – I was overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety at the same time.

Saturday morning we kicked off the conference with our first speaker, Loretta Walker, Vice President of External Affairs for AT&T, who spoke about her journey to leadership. We also had Dawn Valadez, director of the film, Going on 13 www.goingon13.com, which the girls really enjoyed watching. The students had a blast participating in interactive activities with About Face http://www.about-face.org/, focusing on the messaging of main stream media.

Sunday was our Youth for Youth day, where we had young leaders speak about how they’re impacting the world! Chanel Aleta Johnson just completed her internship at the White House, working in the West Wing with President Barack Obama’s  key officials. Amazing! We also had Apoorva Rangan, a 15 year old amazing young lady, who co-founded Eco-Company and is the co-mastermind of Project Jatropha http://projectjatropha.com/, which turns Jatropha seeds into bio-fuel to conserve India’s environment. I’m absolutely proud to say, we provided incredibly inspiring speakers.

It was wonderful to witness the students, so eager to learn and identify their leadership roles. Congratulations to Engage Her for bringing together multicultural women and girls committed to becoming our future leaders!

We did it again Engage Her team!

With millions of people uninsured in the U.S. and millions more who are being denied coverage for a variety of reasons including pre-existing conditions, President Obama and the Democrats are pushing to pass a reform bill. President Obama is determined to “pass healthcare reform that lowers cost, promotes choice and provides coverage that every American can count on.” There has been so many special interests, large corporations, pharmaceuticals and insurance industry lobbyists that are influencing our Senators and Congressional Reps to not pass healthcare reform because they stand to lose all their profits and stranglehold on the lucrative healthcare industry. People need to call their Senators and Congressional Reps and tell them what they think. For or against health care reform, we need to make our voices heard now.