Engage Her: Activating Women and MultiCultural Communities

Listening and Speaking in a Second Language—what is it like? (Part II)

In the past blog, I described what it is to be listening in a second language. I also explained how critical it is for those who are talking to a second-language listener to understand and be sensitive to their experience (the second language speaker, that is) if effective communication is to happen. Again, those of us who speak two or more languages tend to be equipped with the experience that allows us to be sensitive to those matters. However, not everyone develops such sensitivity and being bilingual is certainly not a requirement to developing it.

Today, I’d like to describe what it is like to be speaking in a language other than one’s mother tongue. We often come across situations in which we don’t quite know the exact terms or idiomatic expressions that would best suit what we are trying to convey. When that happens, there are essentially two options: either to say nothing or to attempt creative routes to convey what we are thinking or feeling. The second option entails describing what we mean using, perhaps, more rudimentary language. For instance, suppose I am trying to say ‘thermometer’ and do not know the term, I may say: “the instrument used to measure how cold or hot something is.” When concepts become more abstract or complicated, you can readily imagine just how gradually more challenging the endeavor becomes.

Two attitudes are critical for the second-language speaker. First is the confidence to go ahead and speak up regardless of how ‘clumsy’ we may sound. Second is the ability to confront the common disregard from those at the listening end who may react as if we were less intelligent, did not know what we are talking about, or come up with all sorts of other colorful assumptions about us. These types of disregard are palpable, and they can range from being quite subtle to being fairly grotesque. Perhaps the most common dynamic I have seen in my professional practice is when the second-language speaker is completely ignored, and those at the listening end act as if he or she was not even present. The second most common dynamic is being subtly questioned or not-so-subtly ridiculed for not using the proper terms.

One tactic I have found to be helpful is the use humor, as it helps to lessen the unnecessary judgment that transpires in such scenarios. Let me give you a very simple example. Many years ago, I stated that something was “ringing music to my ears!” Everyone laughed, as they should have, yet in a ridiculing tone that was both unnecessary and an unmistakable put down. Fortunately, a colleague picked up the vibe and, with a twinkle in her eye, stated something along the lines of: “hey, if it is music, it sure would ring to anyone, right?” That is when I realized I had wrongfully used the idiomatic expression. Fortunately, in this case, I was able to tell what the gaff was and jokingly replied: “hey, either ringing or bringing, it is still music to my ears! So, please, tell me more about …” This interaction completely shifted the conversation into one that was more respectful of me, and, thus, more productive for all involved.  Again, you can imagine that the scenarios are not always as simple, or easy to address.

Another very recurrent dynamic I have encountered is monolingual English-speaking people possessing an attitude about certain second-language speakers requesting an interpreter when talking in public. “But, if he or she speaks English, why use an interpreter?!” is the common observation. Even though this may be accurate in some basic or moderate level, what it is not understood is the loss of power someone experiences when speaking in public in his or her second language. At worst, the speaker may be completely ignored or only partially heard, and, at best, barely understood. No wonder, some second-language speakers simply choose to say nothing at all!

Food for thought: Regardless of whether you are monolingual, bilingual, or have the privilege of being multilingual, observe yourself while listening to someone speaking in another language other than their mother tongue. How close do you listen to them? Does it vary in any way? What gets in the way of asking for clarification when you do not completely understood the other’s point of view?

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Calling all women who want to be leaders of the future. The landscape of our country is changing dramatically and in states like California the combined populations of multicultural communities (formerly known as “minorities”) have now become the dominant majority. When you add in the fact that there are more women than men in our country, then multicultural women have now become the majority of our population. The burning question we must ask ourselves: Where are the multicultural women leaders in our country? In the three major institutions that run our country, the Media, Government and Corporations there are very few women executives and decision makers that control key decisions in our country. The Census Bureau has been projecting that across our nation by 2052 or sooner, the rest of the country will look like California. That means 1 out of 3 people will be Latinos, 1 out of 6 Asian and 1 out of 6 will be of African American descent. That doesn’t include all the citizens who are “blended” or of multi-racial cultures and ethnicities. When you add these people together, the numbers are far larger and will change the landscape much more rapidly.

With the change in our population, the impact and social needs of our communities and nation will change dramatically. The impact on our educational system, jobs, healthcare system, social justice issues, immigration will need to reflect the needs of these communities. We will need new and improved services to address this changing population. Critical issues such as obesity, language, cultural challenges, higher education, immigration all represent issues that significantly impact our entire nation. We need leaders who come from these communities, understand their needs and will be able to advocate and put programs and build products and services to address their needs. We cannot sit back and wait for this dramatic change to happen. We have to encourage our communities to step up and become the leaders that they need to develop into to help lead the charge for change in our country. We need to widen the “pipeline” of leadership candidates and educate, motivate and help show young people different ways that they can become our next generation of leaders.

There are role models out there today in many different industries. Unfortunately mainstream media, corporations and government do not highlight, profile and promote these leaders. Multicultural people need to see people who look like ourselves, understand our issues and learn how to speak up, assert ourselves and become the new leaders. At Engage Her we’re dedicated to developing leadership programs, profiling leaders and identifying and supporting the next generation of multicultural leaders. We hope you will join our community, contribute to our content, attend leadership conferences, workshops and help become the change we all seek for our country. Stay tuned for more leadership articles and programs.

Listening and Speaking in a Second Language—what is it like?

In 1987, working as a receptionist at an International Conference Center in New York, I had the following experience:  A loud, large, and fast-speaking woman asked me a long and convoluted question.  Since I did not understand her, I asked her to repeat it.  She went ahead and repeated the question in the same pace and with identical terms.  Thus, I requested another iteration of her question, to which she replies in an angry tone: “Am I speaking in another language?!” Fortunately, a colleague from South Africa standing right beside me and of a similar size, replied to her: “No, it is she who is speaking in a second language, what can I do for you, ma’am?”

From then on, I have witnessed multiple situations in which people simply did not understand what it is to be listening and speaking in a second language.  Of course, not speaking a second language leaves anyone in a vacuum of experience to use as reference. That is understandable. However, I have also witnessed many people who are monolingual, and yet have managed to develop the required understanding and sensitivity.  Thus, being bilingual is not a prerequisite for cultural competence, as just a notch-up in awareness can make a huge difference in ensuring good communication.

Of course, with experience, I have learned that in similar situations it does help to answer something along the lines of:  “Sorry, could you repeat that in a slower pace for me, please?” Sometimes, I may have added:  “ I am listening in my second language.” Additionally, I learned that being soft spoken does not always work with loud individuals— especially, as I am petite!  Thus, raising up a notch of my voice and expanding my chest a wee bit can do wonders!  I cannot say it has always worked, but I bet I have increased my chances of being heard. Sure enough, humans are fascinating animals, are not we?

In attempting to find a way to explain what the experience is for second-language listeners, I have found the following analogy to be useful.  Imagine yourself listening to the radio.  When the reception is right, you can hear the person speaking or singing quite clearly, right?  However, if there is static, or there are portions of the speech cut off, you will not hear well, or make sense of the entire message. Well, for a second-language listener, the reception is clear while the terms are familiar to us.  When language is unknown, there are moments of static or outright silence in the midst of the cacophony of understood language.  It requires a high tolerance to ambiguity and an ability to make sense of the whole message from the context as understanding every single word is often an impossible mission.

The recurrence of the static or silences varies depending on the level of language proficiency of the listener, their specific knowledge of the topic at hand, and many nuances of the entire context. Even being fully proficient in English since I learned the language from childhood, have lived in the USA for almost 20 years, and hold a doctoral degree obtained at a competitive school in California- there are still moments in which there is static or outright silence when I listen in my second language.  That is absolutely normal.  What I have learned, however, is to say… “please, slow down…” or “what does X or Y mean?” when I encounter those situations. However, not all second-language speakers feel entitled to ask such questions, or have the interpersonal skills to do so.  That is where the attitude and skills of the person on the other side of the interaction truly comes in handy to achieve good communication.

Food for thought:

Imagine what it would be like for you if you were in a similar situation to the second-language listener.  What would it feel like?  What would it be like if the experience would be fairly common?  How would you cope with it?  What if you were in a group in with you had very little rank?

On my last two blogs, I have addressed a fairly common interpersonal dynamic that occurs when people from different backgrounds interact.  In socio-linguistic terms, it is referred to as “code switching”. It is about how certain women and certain people of color tend to adapt their way of interacting in order to be better heard, if lucky, understood or, even better, accepted by mainstream society.

There is no question that everyone, regardless of gender, socio-economic background, ethnicity or age, tends to talk differently depending on who is before them.  If we are interacting with a young child, regardless of their background, we may all use a different tone of voice or choice of words than if talking with an adult.  If we come from a cultural background that distinguishes gender roles quite clearly, we may even further adapt our topics of conversation to match the fact that we are relating to a boy or a girl.  If we come from a counter-culture that advocates for gender equity, we may intentionally not choose to make such adaptation.  An African American successful business entrepreneur coming from humble beginnings will certainly not talk to her family and childhood friends the same way she would relate business partners on Wall Street.  However, that is not the code-switching we are referring to in intercultural dynamics. There are critical differences when we pay attention to who needs to adapt to whom, who is simply oblivious to this dynamic, and how the adaptation is learned.

Changing the way we speak when talking to a child, our neighbor, or a complete stranger is a sign of how socially adept we may be.  In normal circumstances, we learned such skills at an early age from our social surroundings.  And, even if we are not completely proficient at it, the social consequences of not using the right terms or tone are not usually drastic, nor as mind boggling.  However, it is quite a different story when those who are recurrently seen and treated as having ‘lesser social rank’ adapt the way they interact with the hopes to “fit in” mainstream society. First of all, the adaptation is only one-way.  Second, most people coming from ‘higher social rank’ are completely oblivious to the fact that others adapt to their ways in order to be heard, and if lucky, understood.  Third, since all of these dynamics are rarely talked about all the learning is done by a hit or miss process, and no explicit feedback.  Can you imagine how confusing it is for those learning?

To put it more bluntly, how does a young adult immigrant from Asia or Latin America learn to interact with his or her middle class peers in the USA?  What are their chances of their choice of words, or tone, or body language being seriously mis-interpreted, and thus judged, by their local counter-parts?  If the interaction is fairly informal and on a friendly basis, it explains why social integration has such a long way to go, at least, in the USA.  However, if we take a look at this dynamic in the workplace, then… we have a lot of insight why discrimination in employment is so prevalent, even in the Twenty First Century!

Food for Thought: Have you ever been in a situation in which you are, by-far, the minority in a group or society?  Was your ‘minority status’ one that placed you in a higher or lower rank?  If you were perceived and treated as one of lesser rank— did you learn to interact in a fashion that would make you more heard in the group? How did you learn how to do that?

I would certainly be extremely interested in learning about others experiences in this very complex and rich field.

The Engage Her Multicultural Middle School Girls Leadership Conference was an extraordinary success! The way I had envisioned the conference was nothing like the actual experience. I can recall standing in the courtyard during Saturday morning’s registration, captivated by the diversity of young girls. It was a very surreal moment for me – I was overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety at the same time.

Saturday morning we kicked off the conference with our first speaker, Loretta Walker, Vice President of External Affairs for AT&T, who spoke about her journey to leadership. We also had Dawn Valadez, director of the film, Going on 13 www.goingon13.com, which the girls really enjoyed watching. The students had a blast participating in interactive activities with About Face http://www.about-face.org/, focusing on the messaging of main stream media.

Sunday was our Youth for Youth day, where we had young leaders speak about how they’re impacting the world! Chanel Aleta Johnson just completed her internship at the White House, working in the West Wing with President Barack Obama’s  key officials. Amazing! We also had Apoorva Rangan, a 15 year old amazing young lady, who co-founded Eco-Company and is the co-mastermind of Project Jatropha http://projectjatropha.com/, which turns Jatropha seeds into bio-fuel to conserve India’s environment. I’m absolutely proud to say, we provided incredibly inspiring speakers.

It was wonderful to witness the students, so eager to learn and identify their leadership roles. Congratulations to Engage Her for bringing together multicultural women and girls committed to becoming our future leaders!

We did it again Engage Her team!

As vice president of public relations at Kaiser Permanente, America’s largest integrated health provider, Holly Potter regularly leverages her ingenuity, intellect, and extensive experience with both public and private sectors to effectively communicate with and understand the public on a national level.

Born and raised in Alameda, California, Holly attended the University of California, Davis, where she majored in Women’s Studies with an emphasis on Public Policy. She decided to take a break from college to work on a local ballot initiative in Fresno. After the initiative, Holly got the opportunity to gain valuable work experience doing public affairs and media relations for Planned Parenthood.

Holly knew she had a deep passion for advocating around important social issues. After college, she became a project manager for a statewide violence prevention initiative, managing a public education campaign with community experts. She worked with policy experts that specialized in gun control, as well as inner city intervention organizations. Holly also worked to sell communications campaigns to highlight social issues and find solutions. In addition to doing media relations, she also helped increase funding for youth intervention programs. As years passed, Holly continued her dedication to violence prevention, and became involved in drug policy issues. She worked on ways to reduce risk for kids using drugs. Instead of an abstinence only approach, her organization educated parents on how to communicate about reducing risks. Holly took her expertise to Washington, D.C. where she worked on the national campaign against youth violence, which was initially launched by President Clinton. 

Kaiser recruited Holly for vice president of public relations based not only on her experience but her attitude. Holly tries to always deliver her best — to push the envelope and think one step ahead of the game. Over the past few years, Holly has received recognition for pushing social media at Kaiser Permanente and developing new strategies that seemed impossible a few years ago. Her success is due, in part, to a willingness to take calculated risks. Holly advises to be aware of the choices you make and create the safeguards necessary to implement the plan of action successfully.

Holly has been very fortunate to have strong female mentors, both professionally and personally. She was strongly influenced by her mother, an ambitious businesswoman who proved that she could succeed in the traditionally male dominated field of pharmaceutical sales. Holly’s mother deeply instilled the value that you can do anything you set your mind to. She taught her daughter to walk into a situation looking for an opportunity and figuring out how to make the best of it. Holly recommends all women to seek out role models and mentors, people who can provide guidance, teach skills, and help you reach the next step.

As a communications specialist, Holly has had plenty of practice developing her speaking skills. Holly advises that practice is essential, and it is important to take and ask for advice from others.  She recommends speaking up whenever possible, whether in a discussion or addressing an issue in a meeting. Holly believes that confidence is key — you have to learn how to trust yourself and your abilities. But,   Holly counters that you need to measure your effect on people: it’s all about the balance between speaking too softly (not being heard) or being too aggressive. She urges everyone to reflect on the impact they have when speaking.

Holly emphasized that there is a shortage of women leaders. She refers to the pool of talented professional women as an “untapped expertise” that needs to be utilized. She encourages women to seek opportunities for the experience enabling them to rise to leadership positions. In college, Holly spent a summer in Washington, D.C. working on Capitol Hill for the Congressional Caucus for Women’s Issues.  Instead of giving tours, Holly decided to roll up her sleeves and gain real world work experience. She encourages women to work hard and take opportunities to educate themselves and learn from knowledgeable professionals. When asked on her opinion of how to become a leader, she answered that leadership comes in all shapes and sizes. Some leadership results in formal education, some from real world work experience. A  “leadership check-list” does not exist. Holly firmly believes that first and foremost, women need to believe in themselves.

Holly Potter knows that success doesn’t come easy. In order to be a successful leader, you have to constantly demonstrate that you go above and beyond the norm. Being a leader involves hard work, dedication, and ambition. As a mother of a young child, Holly struggles with the balance between work, family, and personal life. She honestly admits that she hasn’t figured out the secret, but that she is working on figuring out what is off balance and fixing it by taking small steps.  After meeting with Holly, it is clear to see why she is a success. Holly exemplifies the values of hard work, determination, and ambition. She is confident, well spoken, and incredibly down to earth. It was a pleasure to meet with such a talented and influential leader.